Vol. 6. No. 1. September 2015
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!
I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks.
When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!
The biggest lie I tell myself is: "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!
My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.
Even duct tape can't fix stupid ... but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?
Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree. That makes it a plant which means: chocolate is Salad.
A lone bear was walking thru the forest enjoying the warm spring day. The last winter had been fierce; he was so lucky to have survived. It was almost like there had been someone looking out for him.
As he walked he began to ponder the meaning of life. He walked and pondered some more. As he did he could not help but notice the beauty all around him. He felt close to nature and to creation.
he felt so close to the Spirit, he was sure if he spoke God would be listening. So looked all around took a deep breath and asked ":God are you listening?"
The breeze blew thru the trees and sunlight seemed to dance off every surface. He looked toward the sky. Then came a voice: "Yes my son I am here." The bear nearly stopped breathing. He began to walk in a circle and stare and the ground he pondered some more. Then he turned to look to the sky again. "God can I ask you a question?"
a moment passed and God said "You just did?" You could all most hear a bit of laughter in his voice.
This made the bear very nervous. but he thought a moment then asked; "God, What is a million years to you?"
God replied, "Well My son, a second to me is like a million years to you."
So the bear thought a bit more, paced a bit more, then turned again to the sky and asked: "God what is a million dollars to you?"
Soon God replied, "My Son, it does not even have a value it is so little."
The bear scratched his head, and paced and pondered a bit more. Then he smiled and turned once more to the sky. "Ok then God. May I have a Million Dollars?"
He held his breath and waited... Soon God replied:
"In a second."